Noah Puckerman Must Die
by FinnHudsonismine5
Summary: A/U of "John Tucker Must Die". Puck is the ladies' man and is secretly dating Quinn, Santana, and Brittany at the same time. When they learn of this, they decide that they want revenge against the known badboy. With help from new girl Rachel, they decide to break his heart. But what happens when Rachel develops feelings for him and Puck starts to feel something more for Rachel?
1. Prologue

**A.N. This is a new story, based off the movie "John Tucker Must Die". I was watching this with my sister a few days ago, when she said that Jesse Metcalfe reminds of Puck. The idea to do this story just started from there. My sister, whose name is Shannon and really helps me with writing anything, really helped me format the characters and change the plotline slightly. So without further ado, I hope you enjoy "Noah Puckerman Must Die". **

**Exclaimer: I don't own Glee or "John Tucker Must Die", because if I did, Cory Monteith and Jesse Metcalfe would be with me right now. And Mark Salling would be in the mix too, well, all of the guys from Glee. **

Prologue 

_Hello, my name is Rachel Berry. But you probably don't know me, no one does. I mean, my only friends are three guys who at first only talked to me because I gave them the answers on tests, but that doesn't happen until later. I guess we have to go before I even moved here. I was in the seventh grade when I realized I was invisible. Not the kind of invisible where you can't see me, the kind where no one knows you exist and ignores you. No, it was more like I was just, you know, kind of…anonymous. It's not that I didn't try, I mean, people just thought of me as a….._

"Loser," a girl says as she passes me.

_Yeah, a loser. Of course, when it came to love..._

A boy in my class that sits behind me hands me a note with a heart on it.

"Pass it on," he says, and I pass the note to the girl in front of me.

_Yeah, that sucked, S-U-C-K-E-D, sucked. There was another thing working against me…_

I was now standing in my new living room surrounded by boxes. A boy around my age walks in carrying a plate of brownies.

"Hi," I say.

"Hey, I'm Justin. I live just next door...and, uh, my mom sent me over...with these brownies or something," the boy says, handing me the plate. "Oh, hi, I'm Rachel. W-We just moved here, I mean, duh-the boxes and everything," I say, pointing to the boxes around me. My mom walks into the room. "Holy jama lama" the boy mumbles.

_That other thing is... my mom. _

"Hi, I'm Shelby," my mom says. The boy instantly takes the plate from my hands and gives them to my mom.

"Um... I made these for you. Be careful; you're hot, I mean...they're hot, so hot," the boy continues mumbling.

_She's never had any trouble landing men, she's just had trouble keeping them. After my dad left us when I was ten for another man, my mom has dated a lot of guys. I used to keep track, but I found it exhausting, so, I just call 'em all...Skip. _

I'm always eating breakfast when I meet them, each one telling me the same thing.

"Hi, Rachel, I'm going... to be... your new...father," each word said by a different man my mother brought home.

"Maybe we shouldn't get ahead of ourselves now, Skip," I say to the latest one.

"It's, uh, it's Steve, kiddo. Why do you keep calling me Skip?" he asks while drinking the milk from the carton.

_Because, eventually... that's what they all do. It's happened so many times that my mom's developed...a very mature reaction. A quick therapy session...or two...or three…_

I watch as my mom eats spoonful after spoonful of chocolate icing.

_And then we pack up the car and flee to another town. Okay, maybe being invisible does have its advantages. _

"Excuse me!" my mom yells out the window as we drive to our next town. I look out the back window and wave to the other kids playing in the street, but none of them even notice me.

_Because, moving all the time...I never had to deal with the whole ''awkward good-bye'' thing. _

Now I'm in the football stands at my new school, McKinley High. It's football game night, and everyone comes to the games, even nobodies like me.

"All right, guys, here we go, I'm open!" a boy on the field yells.

_Here's me. _

I'm sitting in the second to last row of seats on the bleachers in the far right.

_It wasn't easy, but in just a few short months I went from ''sort of unknown'' to... _

"Are you a narc?" a girl behind me asks.

_But enough about me, this story isn't even about me. It's about him, Noah Puckerman, or Puck as he's commonly referred to. Let's face it, he is the man. Captain and running back of the football team, his family's loaded, and he looks somewhere between an Abercrombie model and a Greek god, except with a Mohawk. _

"Puck!" a boy yells from the sideline.

"Let's go, Puck! Kill the Bobcats! Not real bobcats, I mean, they're endangered," a blonde ditzy girl yells out before holding up a sign saying something about protecting baby chicks. I look back at the field and see Quinn Fabray holding a microphone in front of a camera in her Cheerios uniform.

"It's no question who's taking the Titans to state this year," Quinn starts, before Puck walks up to the camera, taking the microphone from her.

"Noah Puckerman here, also known as Puck, Puckzilla, Puckasauras, Puckster," Puck starts as his best friend Finn comes into frame.

"Puckster," Finn says, giving him a high-five before going on the field.

"Some people call me Puckerone, but I'm best known as El Capitan," Puck continues before going on the field. Quinn hands the microphone to another girl before going to the group of cheerleaders standing in the middle of the field. They perform a routine to "Maneater" by Nelly Furtado, ending with the other cheerleaders pointing at Quinn, who's standing in the middle with her hands up.

"Ho-ho, Quinn!" a boy calls out from the stands.

"Whoo-hoo! Shake it, baby!" another calls out.

"Short skirts equals talent," a Latina girl says, standing in front of the camera.

"Yeah, Quinn's hot!" another boy from the stands yells.

"Go, Titans!" Quinn yells.

"Go Titans!" the Cheerios yell out together.

Now I'm at Breadstix, where I work as a waitress. It's practically the only restaurant in town, and everyone goes to it.

"Hey, table six," Tina, another waitress, tells me, and I walk over to the table to see Noah Puckerman.

_I remember the first time I spoke to Noah Puckerman. It's not like he blew me away or anything. I mean, I was totally in control. _

"Hi," Puck smirks at me.

"Yes. I mean... no, I-I mean, y…," I stutter.

"I'm... not quite ready to order," Puck says, still smirking.

"Thanks," I reply before curtsying and walking away.

_Please tell me I did not just curtsy_

A blonde girl walks to the table and sits down, kissing Puck on the lips.

_What was I thinking? Of course a guy like that already has a girlfriend. That's Quinn Fabray. Captain of the Cheerios, editor of the Muckraker, Class President, in the Brainiacs, president of the Celibacy Club, correspondent for the high school TV station, and editor of the Thunderclap. I heard that she's been campaigning for Prom Queen since eighth grade. _

"I've decided to write a children's book," Quinn says to Puck with a smile.

_Oh, and she's writing a children's book. _

Quinn begins speaking in French. I know enough to know she's only saying the menu in French.

"Mm! You are so sexy when you speak French," Puck says as I walk over to take their order. As I stand in front of the table, they begin to kiss.

"Mm...Uh, do you guys...want a minute?" I ask before going back into the kitchen. The next day, I'm coming back from the kitchen with two pitchers of water when I see a different girl sit down at the table.

_Whoa, scratch that. He's got two girlfriends. That one's Santana Lopez. She's the bad girl. Constantly skipping class and throwing slushies at nerds, like me. She's also known to be easy. _

I walk over to their table just as Santana starts to speak.

"And Molly's all 'Why don't we go to class today?'," Santana says.

"Go to class?" Puck says scoffing.

"I know. I mean, I haven't gone since freshman year, why start now?" Santana says. As I'm about to ask what they want to order, Puck holds a finger up to me and continues looking at Santana.

"Two green salads, dressing on the side. Salmon for her, lobster for me," he says without breaking her gaze.

"I love when you do that," Santana says, moving closer to him.

"I love doing that," Puck replies, moving towards her.

"I love that you love that I love you doing that," Santana says, kissing Puck's neck.

"And, no need to rush between courses," Puck says to me, before moving his lips to Santana.

"That top looks so hot on you. I bet it's even hotter off of you," Puck says as I start to walk away. The next night, I see Puck walk in again with another blonde girl.

"Never been here before, babe., so I hope they have good vegetarian," Puck says sitting down.

_Okay, stop it already. Three girlfriends? _

"Oh, no! Veal? I'm sorry, let's just go. You know, if I wanted to torture animals I'd go to a medical lab, " Puck yells, getting up.

"Hey," the girl besides him says softly.

"Which, I would never do, 'cause they torture animals," Puck says sitting down again.

_Okay, I'm not passing judgment, but, for whatever reason, being a vegan teen activist is usually code for ''easy.'' This one is Brittany Pierce. She's not the brightest crayon in the box, but she's really nice to everyone, well, to people who are vegan. _

"You know, for you, I don't have to give up all meat," Brittany whispers to Puck, but since Brittany can't really whisper, most of the restaurant heard her.

_See? I'm not making this stuff up. _

"I don't get it. I mean, these girls all seem so confident and cool. How do they not know that Puck's cheating on all of them?" I say to Tina.

"He's a total operator. He goes out with girls from different cliques, so that they never actually talk to each other. And then he tells them that his father won't let him date during basketball season, so they'll have to keep it a secret," Tina explains.

"How'd you learn all this stuff?" I ask, turning towards her. Her face breaks out into tears.

"I don't know. Just a guess," she says before bursting into tears and running into the kitchen. The next day at school, I see him walking down the halls right next to Finn Hudson, the quarterback and his best friend. He's high-fiving anyone who greets him and gives them smiles.

_Puck was confident in his system for juggling girls, but even he couldn't anticipate the events of Black Tuesday. _

I look back at him before walking into the gymnasium and closing the door behind me.

-NPMD-

**A.N. So this is the prologue just to start off. I will try to update as fast as I can. I'm taking a short break from "Falling Slowly" because I'm really stuck on the chapters and don't know what to write about. I hope you enjoy this new story. **

**-FinnHudsonismine5 **


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Rachel was standing in her gym clothes, watching as the girls around her talked to each other. She had only been at this school for two months and had only talked to three guys, who she was somewhat friendly with. She sat down on the bleachers in the gym, as a tall blonde woman stepped forward. She was wearing a red track suit and she sneered at the girls.

"Hello, my name is Sue Sylvester. I coach the Cheerios and will now be your temporary gym teacher," Sue said. A roar of protest came from the teenage girls.

"Since your gym teacher, whatever her name is, retired, we're combining all first period gym classes," Sue continued. The girls let out another groan. Sue glared at them until they stopped talking and looked at the clipboard in her hand.

"Jennifer, Alison, Molly... Sarah, Denise and Kimmi, this side!" Sue said. When none of the girls made any attempt to move, Sue dragged one of them over.

"All of you, now," Sue yelled, the other girls running over.

"On this side, I want Tweedle Dumb, Sandbags, Q, and…you, the midget with the big nose," Sue said.

"My name is actually Rachel. Rachel Berry," Rachel said, walking over to her side.

"Whatever. So, play ball," Sue said. Rachel walked over to Santana.

"You're Santana, right? I'm Rachel," she said, putting her hand out. Santana looked down at it.

"So?" Santana said, before grabbing a volleyball. Quinn was stretching in front of the net, standing next to another Cheerio.

"You weren't at the party last night. Where were you?" the Cheerio asked.

"Well, this is totally on the DL, I mean, not fit to print, but I'm dating...Noah Puckerman!" Quinn whispered. Santana was standing close to Quinn and heard her, so Santana spiked the ball at Quinn's head.

"Hey!" Quinn yelled, turning around.

"Sorry, it slipped," Santana replied, a smirk on her face. Quinn rolled her eyes but turned back around.

"Whatever, I'm fine. Let's just play," she said, before Santana threw the volleyball at her again. Quinn turned around and walked toward Santana.

"You know what? That was no accident," Quinn said, her voice getting louder.

"He's mine! Stay away from him!" Santana yelled, pushing Quinn, causing her to stumble.

"Oh, you bitch!" Quinn said, pushing Santana back. Quinn and Santana continued pushing each other until Brittany walked between them.

"Girls! Peace and love! No guy is worth fighting over!" Brittany said, pushing Santana and Quinn away from one another.

"There's nothing to fight about. Noah Puckerman's mine," Santana yelled. Brittany took the volleyball in her hands and threw it at Santana

"What the hell is your problem?" Santana asked.

"I am dating Noah Puckerman," Brittany said. Santana threw the volleyball, but Brittany ducked, sending the volleyball into Rachel's face. Brittany turned to Quinn and slapped her, and Quinn slapped Brittany back. Rachel stood back up.

"Enough! Let's get back in the game," Sue said, pushing the three girls away from each other. Sue walked away, and as soon as she did, Brittany pushed Quinn and Santana pushed Brittany. Rachel somehow got closer to the girl fight as Brittany got pushed into her. Quinn grabbed a volleyball and threw it, the ball hitting Sue in the face.

Santana grabbed the bag of volleyballs and started swinging it, hitting Rachel in the stomach. Santana continued swinging the bag until she hit Brittany with it. Sue stood in front of Quinn, pushing Quinn out of the way. Brittany went over to the cart full of volleyballs and began throwing them, almost hitting Quinn and hitting Rachel in the face again. Brittany took the cart and rolled it towards Santana, Rachel, Sue, and Quinn. The cart fell over, causing the girls to fall on the ground.

Brittany jumped on Santana, while Rachel, Sue, and Quinn tried to get up. Rachel grabbed the whistle around Sue's neck and blew into it, causing everyone to stop fighting.

"This guy is cheating on all of you, and instead of taking it out on him, you're beating the, excuse my language, shit out of each other?" Rachel yelled.

"Language," Sue yelled, standing up.

"Detention. You, you, you and you!" Sue said, pointing to Santana, Brittany, Rachel, and Quinn. Rachel rolled her eyes before standing up, followed by Brittany, Santana, and Quinn.

"Who is that?" Santana asked.

"I don't know, Pam something," Quinn said, walking away.

-NPMD-

Rachel walked into the library, where the detention was being held and saw a guy listening to music. He was short, probably one of the shortest guys she's ever seen, with curly black hair. He began singing out loud to whatever music he was listening to, unknown to her presence.

The guy began singing "Something's Coming", Rachel watching on amused. The guy had a great voice, and he sounded really good. The guy turned around and finally noticed Rachel, and he blushed as he turned the music off.

"Sorry, it's, uh…," the guy trailed off.

"West Side Story. I understand," Rachel said.

"Yeah. Yeah, it is," the guy said, looking surprised.

"Yeah, you can't really hum to West Side," Rachel said.

"No, once you've started, you're kind of obligated to, to belt it out," he said. Rachel smiled.

"Yeah," she said.

"I'm Blaine. You're from...Spanish, right?" Blaine asked, putting his books in his backpack.

"Yeah., I'm-I'm Rachel. So, um, where is everybody?" Rachel asked. Blaine gave her a look of confusion.

"Detention?" she asked.

"You-You came early to detention?" Blaine asked, humor in his voice.

"Oh, um, well, it's, you know. I would hate to m-m-miss a minute of being detained," Rachel said, before both of them started laughing. They noticed Quinn walking down the hallway outside of the window in the room, walking right towards Puck and Finn.

"Hey, babe," Puck said when Quinn reached him.

"Hey, Puck," Quinn said.

"I had a great time with these two on the beach," Puck began, but Rachel just rolled her eyes.

"Ugh," Rachel groaned, rolling her eyes again.

"Oh. Wow. That's not, uh, usually the reaction he gets from girls. It's generally more like a…," Blaine said, following with high pitched sighs and moans.

"Yeah, okay, 'jerk' isn't really my type," Rachel said.

"Yeah, you're right. He can have his jerk moments," Blaine answered. Rachel looked up in surprise.

"Oh, I thought he was you guys'... god, or whatever."

"You're close. He's my older brother."

"Oh! You're the other Puckerman?" Rachel asked. Blaine turned around.

"What is that? Is that, like, 'the loser Puckerman'?" Blaine asked, his voice somewhat confused and angry.

"Oh, no, no. That's not what I meant, I just, you just don't look... " Rachel trailed off.

"Hot, buff, or capable of inciting an all-girl smackdown? No, you're right," Blaine said, Rachel about to protest but he cut her off again.

"Naw, it's-it's cool. I'll let you in on a secret, though. My mom says I'm special on the inside," Blaine said, walking towards the door.

"Good for you," Rachel said. Blaine turned back around with confusion written on his face.

"Yeah," he said, before leaving the room.

-NPMD-

Quinn smiled sweetly at Puck.

"Puck? Can I talk to you for a sec?" Quinn asked. Puck looked at her and smirked.

"Yeah, sure. Later, Finn," Puck said, high-fiving Finn.

"Later, man," Finn said before walking away.

"So, what's up?" Puck asked.

"In PE today, some loser said that she went out with you," Quinn began.

"Really? And you believed her?" Puck asked.

"No. I mean, I don't know. You can't have a girlfriend…" Quinn trailed off

"...In football season. But, if I could, you know who it'd be." Puck answered.

"You know, I don't know why girls say stuff like that. I mean, I think they're just jealous of what we have. Because we share something special. Something we don't have to label. You know, it's, it's an unspoken bond. And I love how secure you are," Puck continued, before giving Quinn a quick peck.

"Alright, I gotta go, babe," Puck said. Quinn smiled before walking into the detention room, where Rachel, Santana, and Brittany were already seated in nearby tables. Quinn sat down at the same table as Santana and watched as Mr. Shuester, the Spanish teacher, walked in.

"All right. Detention has begun, I'll be right back. And no talking!" Mr. Shuester said before walking out of the room. The girls instantly turned to face one another.

"So, I talked to Puck, It was sweet, He felt bad for you. He said that you were jealous because... we share something special. Something that... we didn't have to label because it's…" Quinn began.

"Because it's our unspoken bond and I just love how secure you are?" Brittany interrupts.

"And it hurts me to hear you question it? Because.." Santana says.

"You're the... ...only girl for me?" all three of them say simultaneously.

"Damn! He said the same thing to all of us," Santana says.

"Figures, He makes up with us, and then he hooks up with us...

"You guys hooked up?" Quinn said, disgust written on her face.

"Puck and I share something special," Brittany explained. Santana scoffed.

"Oh, what, that you've both been in your pants?" Quinn rebutted.

"We share a vegan/nonviolent outlook on life," Brittany said.

"Hippie slut," Santana coughs.

"Oh, nice, Santana. It's not like everyone doesn't know that Little Miss Badass brings it on," Brittany said.

"-Look... -You, too?" Quinn asked, shocked.

"Puck and I belong together. He is the school's resident bad boy, and I am the head Skank," Santana replied.

"Oh, I'm sorry, what kind of Skank?" Brittany replied.

"Oh, like he'd take either of you two seriously!" Quinn butted in.

"-Do not lump me with her!" Santana yelled.

"- Oh, so, what... - now you're better than me?" Brittany replied.

"- Shut up," Rachel whispered.

"- What?" Santana said.

"- Excuse me?" Quinn said.

"- What?" Brittany asked.

"Sorry, S-Sorry," Rachel said, lowering her head down.

"You have something to say?" Santana said, her infamous anger and attitude rearing.

"Uh... No, it's none of my business," Rachel said quietly.

"What?" Brittany said, with a pleasant tone.

"Okay, let me guess. Does he always use pet names like ''baby''... and ''sweetheart''? Yeah, it's not out of affection. It's so he won't mix up your names. And-And he's all about an unspoken bond... or something special, but never about a relationship. A-And the whole arrangement was your idea... so you feel guilty that he cheated," Rachel explained, motioning with her hands to the girls.

"Oh, my God, You're dating Puck, too," Quinn butt in, shock and anger in her voice.

"No, uh... No, I just knew a guy like him. Skip," Rachel said, looking at her hands.

"She's right, I mean, he's always making me feel guilty," Brittany said, a tone of bewilderment in her tone.

"- Yeah," Santana said, looking quizzically at her.

"- It seems to me... that if a guy treats you like that, it…" Rachel began.

"You'd break up with him. Blah-blah-blah-blah. Puck would have another girlfriend in a second," Santana interrupted.

"No, I didn't say, ''break up,'' I'd get even," Rachel smirked.

"Who are you?" Quinn asked in surprise and wonder.

"I know! You're that girl who wigged out last year and got sent to rehab!" Brittany exclaimed.

"No, I…" Rachel began.

"Then you got taken away for bulimia," Brittany said again.

"- No," Rachel said, a frown beginning to form.

"- Fat camp?" Brittany said, clearly running out of ideas. "- No. My name's…" Rachel began, when Mr. Shuester walked in.

"- Hey! No talking!" he yelled.

"- My name is…" Rachel tried again, only to be cut off by him.

"- No... talking! And Rachel, I called your mother since this is your first detention here," Mr. Shuester said. Rachel groaned before throwing her head to the desk.

-NPMD-

After detention, Rachel had to wait with Mr. Shuester because her mom wanted to talk to him. Rachel was absently staring out the window of the classroom, as Mr. Shuester graded Spanish papers at the desk. Suddenly, Shelby burst in, looking around the room. Her gaze landed on Rachel, and Shelby instantly had her "mean mom" face on. Shelby walked towards Rachel.

"Rachel Barbra Berry, you tell me this instant why I got a phone call today from your school about a detention," Shelby said, her voice causing Rachel to cower slightly.

"Well," Rachel began. Mr. Shuester looked up and walked over to the mother and daughter.

"Hello, Mrs. Berry," Mr. Shuester asked. Shelby didn't reply and Mr. Shuester looked at her quizzically.

"Um…Mrs. Berry?" he asked again, touching her arm slightly. Shelby turned around and looked at him.

"Mrs. Berry," Mr. Shuester started, before Shelby interrupted him.

"Corcoran. Shelby Corcoran," Shelby corrected. Mr. Shuester looked at her in confusion.

"I got divorced from Rachel's dad six years ago, and I took my maiden name," Shelby explained. Mr. Shuester nodded his head and smiled slightly.

"I know what you mean. I just got divorced from my wife a few months ago," he said. Shelby and him continued looking at each other until Rachel cleared her throat.

"Oh! Sorry. I'm Will Shuester, Rachel's Spanish teacher," Will said, sticking out his hand. Shelby shook it and smiled at him.

"So, why was my daughter in detention?" Shelby asked, looking towards Rachel.

"Well, I," Rachel began, before Will interrupted her.

"She and three other girls got into an altercation in gym today," Will said. Shelby and gasped and turned towards Rachel.

"Rachel! You got into a fight?" Shelby asked, concern and anger in her voice.

"No, I," Rachel attempted, and Will cut her off again.

"She wasn't in the fight, the other three girls were, but she did sweat in gym. This school has a strict no-swearing rule," Will explained. Shelby seemed to relax, but she still looked at Rachel in anger.

"Well, Rachel, we will be having a talk at home. Now, go wait in the car while I continue talking with Will here," Shelby said. Rachel sighed but walked out, looking behind her to see Shelby and Will smiling at one another. Rachel rolled her eyes. _Another one? And a teacher this time?_ Rachel thought before walking outside.

-NPMD-

**A.N. I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so, (did I say so?) sorry about the lack of updates. I've been really busy adjusting to my new high school. I'm a freshman, so I'm completely overwhelmed some days, and I'm also take three advanced classes this year. I'm trying to work out a schedule for writing this story and my other story "Falling Slowly". I just haven't had any inspiration lately, but I'm trying. I'm going to try to have at least one update every 2 weeks, more often and more chapters if I'm inspired. Please continue reading, and please don't hate me for the long wait. **

**-FinnHudsonismine5**

**P.S. Have you guys heard the songs for Pot O' Gold? Damian sounds amazing! Can't wait! **


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Rachel was in her room, lying on her bed. After waiting for twenty minutes in the car while her mom "talked" with Mr. Shuester, Rachel really just wanted to be left alone and blare her Broadway Hits CD. She was currently listening to "On My Own" from _Les Misérables_ when her mom came in.

"Hey, honey!" Shelby said, going straight to Rachel's closet. Rachel turned off her stereo and sat up.

"I'm in a hurry. I've got a big date tonight," Shelby said, rummaging through Rachel's clothes.

"Drummer?" Rachel guessed, wrapping her arms around her knees.

"Educator. Teacher. Spanish teacher," Shelby said, grimacing slightly and taking out a sweater.

"So you're dating a Spanish teacher," Rachel said, amusement in her voice.

"You've...got a friend at the door," Shelby said, wrapping the sweater around her and walking downstairs.

"What?" Rachel asked to herself, shaking her head before walking down the stairs. Shelby grabbed her purse and kissed Rachel on the forehead. Rachel opened the door, freezing slightly. Quinn Fabray was standing at her doorstep.

"Have fun, girls!" Shelby said, before running out the door.

"Rachel, right?" Quinn asked, smiling at Rachel. Five minutes later, the doorbell rang again. Rachel opened it to see Santana Lopez at the door.

"Yeah, Rachel. I wants bring down you-know-who," Santana said, looking slightly bored. A few minutes later, the doorbell rang again, this person repeatedly clicking the doorbell. Rachel opened the door to see Brittany Pierce, who was staring at the doorbell confused. Rachel cleared her throat and Brittany looked up at her.

"Normally I hate killing animals, but with Puck I'll make an exception," Brittany said, looking slightly angry before smiling at Rachel. Brittany then threw herself at Rachel, hugging her tightly and spinning her slightly. Rachel hugged back hesitantly before bringing Brittany up to her room, where Quinn and Santana were waiting.

Brittany went to sit on the bed as Quinn looked around the room and Santana went through Rachel's drawers. Santana picked up a CD and looked at Rachel.

"What is this, Dwarf?" Santana said, turning the CD over. Rachel rushed over to her and grabbed it.

"If you must know, it's the Funny Girl Broadway Edition CD. And I did not give you permission to go through my personal things," Rachel said, putting the CD away. Santana simply rolled her eyes and sat down on the bed.

"So, to get Puck back we need to-" Quinn began, before Rachel interrupted her.

"Excuse me. Can I ask one question? How did you all find out where I live?" Rachel asked.

"I went into the office and asked for your information. Since I'm the head cheerleader, I can to whatever I want. Plus I said Sue needed it, and Principal Figgins is terrified of her," Quinn said, shrugging slightly. Rachel turned to Santana.

"I bullied it out of Jewfro. That guy is really obsessed with you, Hobbit," Santana said, looking at her nails. Rachel looked at Brittany, who was staring at the wall.

"Brittany?" Rachel asked. Brittany looked at her with a smile.

"I knocked on every door until I came here. Lord Tubbington wanted to come, but since he started that Atkins diet, he's supers sleepy lately," Brittany said. The three other girls looked at her strangely before Quinn cleared her throat.

"So, anyway. Rachel, we're all here because of what you said earlier. About getting revenge on No- I mean Puck," Quinn said.

"I don't even know him," Rachel said, sitting on the bed. Quinn moved to sit next to her while Santana moved to stand in front of her. Brittany squirmed over closer to the girls.

"So? You don't know anyone," Santana said, rolling her eyes. Rachel attempted to say something back, but Brittany interrupted her.

"You're like the Swiss. You're neutered," Brittany said excitedly. The three girls looked at her.

"Uh, it's neutral," Santana said quietly, her anger and attitude receding.

"Rachel, if the three of us tried this alone, we would kill each other," Quinn explained.

"You brought us here," Santana said, shrugging her shoulders.

"You showed us that we have something in common," Brittany said.

"Exactly," Quinn said, smirking slightly.

"We all wanna kill Noah Puckerman!" Quinn, Brittany, and Santana screamed at the same time.

"Wow," Rachel said, looking at all three of them. Brittany and Quinn both had pleading faces, while Santana looked at Rachel in anger, almost questioning her if she wanted to say no.

"Okay," Rachel replied, all three girls squealing.

-NPMD-

"Learning Center?" Santana scoffs, as her, Brittany, and Rachel walked through the center, following Quinn.

"Who knew this was here?" Brittany asked, looking around quizzically. The girls finally made it into the room Quinn was leading them to. Santana walked over to the window and saw Puck walking around and high-fiving everyone.

"Look at him, struttin' his stuff like he owns the place," she said, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Well, he does," Brittany said, tilting her head.

"For now. This way. Don't touch anything," Quinn said, leading them into another room.

"Wow. You spend way too much time in after-school programs," Santana scoffed, chuckling lightly. Brittany giggled next to her.

"Thank you. Brittany, can you get the lights? It's the remote labeled 'lights,'" Quinn said, hooking up a laptop to the projector and turning it on. After a few minutes of messing with the computer, the projector finally came on with an image of Quinn in a prom dress.

"Sorry," Quinn says, before changing the picture to one of Puck.

"So, let's go. Please try and pay attention, and all cell phones off. Rachel, do your thing," Quinn said, smiling slightly at Rachel and motioning to the front of the room.

"My thing? Oh, okay," Rachel said, moving to stand in front of the projection. Rachel looked at the three girls and swallowed nervously before giving them a small smile.

"What is it that attracted you to Puck?" Rachel asks.

"Rachel, I like where you're going with this," Quinn interrupts, spinning her chair to face the girls.

"Okay, girls, we need to define Puck. He's a statue wrapped in a painting, in a frame made of muscles. But what makes him tick? Is it that charm? Is it that smile? Is it that perfect tan? Is it that Mohawk?" Quinn trails off, looking off with a grin. It isn't until Santana clears her throat that Quinn focuses back on the other girls.

"What is it, girls? Dig deep," Quinn says.

"It's everything. It's his eyes, his lips, his chest, the-the way that, when he holds you his whole body kinda tightens…" Brittany trails off, biting her lip slightly.

"Uh, we all know what happens when boys get happy," Santana interrupts.

"Not what I meant!" Brittany retorts, turning to look at Santana.

"You guys, save it for Puck, okay? Look, back to the point," Quinn intercedes, looking back and forth between both girls.

"We all agree he's hot," Santana says.

"So, what do we do?" Brittany asks.

"Well, in cheer, we usually tear down the other team by undermining their confidence, making them feel lame," Quinn suggests.

"I don't think this is a case for ''U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi,''" Brittany retorts with a scoff.

"Shut up," Quinn says, giving Brittany a glare.

"Quinn, as much as I hate to admit this, you have a point," Santana says, looking at Quinn.

"Right. And-And since Puck's game is that he always has a date, to get even with a guy like that, you make him undatable," Rachel says, trying to gain control back of the situation.

"Yes. Undatable, A systematic destruction of all that is Noah Puckerman," Quinn says. She turns to her laptop and writes "UNDATABLE" across the Puck's chest, before clicking a button to cause the picture to explode. The girls, minus Rachel, began giggling.

"Girls, I think I have an idea," Brittany suddenly said, a serious expression on her face. The other girls looked at each other before looking back at Brittany. Brittany told them the plan and by the end all of the girls were laughing.

"It's perfect, Brittany," Rachel said.

"Yeah, good job Britt," Santana said, giving her a small smile.

"There's just one small problem, you guys. How are we going to do it?" Quinn said. The girls stopped talking and all began thinking, until Rachel looked up to them with a smile.

"Girls, I have just the guys to help us out," Rachel said.

-NPMD-

As Rachel was texting the mystery guys on her phone, Quinn drove the four of them to Rachel's house.

"Who are these guys anyway? And how do you know them?" Santana asks.

"Well one is my neighbor and the other three were trying to cheat off of me in math. Me, being the honorable person I am, confronted them about it and eventually agreed to be their tutors. We are somewhat friends, but I can convince them to help me with this," Rachel explained.

Quinn pulled into Rachel's driveway, where four guys were all waiting. Three of the guys were pushing each other around playfully, while another skinnier boy looked at them with distaste with his arms crossed. Rachel jumped out of the car, skipping to where the four boys were. Santana, Brittany, and Quinn watched as Rachel explained to them their plan. The three boys that were messing around earlier merely shrugged and nodded their heads, while the other boy shook his head.

For the next five minutes, the girls and the three guys watched as Rachel and the skinnier boy argued, both gesturing with their hands. After another minute, the boy shook his head before looking back at Rachel and nodding his head. Rachel squealed loudly before jumping up and down, moving to hug the boy. The boy stood there before finally giving in and hugging Rachel back.

Rachel and the boy let go, and Rachel bounded to the end of her driveway, and excited smile on her lips and a brightness in her eyes.

"They said yes. Come on and meet them," Rachel said, motioning for the girls to come out of the car. The girls got out of the car and followed Rachel up the driveway. When the girls stood in front of the guys, Rachel moved to the in between them.

"Alright. Let's start with the girls. This is Quinn Fabray, Santana Lopez, and Brittany Pierce," Rachel said, motioning to each of the girls.

"And these fine gentlemen are Kurt Hummel, Sam Evans, Matt Rutherford, and Mike Chang," she continued, motioning to each of the guys. Quinn walked forward to shake Sam's hand. As they shook each other's hands, they grinned at each other. Santana nodded to Matt with a semi-friendly look on her face. Matt grinned and nodded back at her. Brittany completely surprised Mike by embracing him in tight hug, but Mike grinned and hugged her back.

After Brittany and Mike let each other go, Rachel clapped her hands to get their attention.

"So, now that we all are acquainted, why don't we go inside and discuss our plans for Mr. Puckerman," Rachel says.

-NPMD-

Twenty minutes later, the group were all in Rachel's living room in different positions around the room. Santana and Brittany were sharing an armchair, Sam and Quinn were sitting on the loveseat, Mike and Matt were sitting on the couch, Kurt was sitting on the floor, and Rachel was pacing back and forth.

"I still don't understand why we're doing this to Puck," Sam said. All of the girls turned to look at him.

"He's using all of us. He's cheating and he expects to get away from it," Quinn says.

"Yeah, but that's not that bad," Mike says.

"I agree with Mike. I don't think I want to be apart of this anymore," Kurt says, standing up. He is about to walk out of the living room when Rachel catches up with him.

"Kurt! Wait! We need your help," she says, holding onto his arm. Kurt looks at it with disdain and Rachel takes it off.

"You're the only one who can really help us," Rachel says. Kurt still doesn't look convinced and Quinn gets up and walks to them.

"Kurt, think about Puck. He constantly slushies you and throws you into dumpsters. He picks on you with the other football players. This is your chance to finally get revenge. To make him feel what you felt," Quinn says, looking straight into Kurt's eyes.

"This is your time to get him back," she says. It's a few seconds before Kurt nods.

"I'll do it. But if we're doing this, then we're going to do it right. Noah Puckerman will be embarrassed in front of everyone just like I've been for the past two years," Kurt says. Rachel and Quinn nod at him before pulling him into a hug. After they all pull away, Kurt turns to the group.

"Let's do it!" Kurt exclaims, everyone cheering along with him.

-NPMD-

**A.N. I am so sorry it took me this long. I don't have any excuses other than it just took longer than I expected. I will try to publish as often as I can. Please continue reading and please review. **

**-FinnHudsonismine5**


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The next day, Brittany and Puck stood in the woods, Puck shirtless and showing his nipple ring while Brittany held a towel and smoothed down his Mohawk.

"I'm telling you, babe, you could make your looks work for you. Don't you think, Robert?" Brittany said, walking over to where Sam stood with Quinn's professional camera, wearing a beret and a fake moustache.

"You know, Robert knows my mom and he shoots for Vogue, Elle, GQ. And of course he's done all my yearbook photos since middle school on recycled paper," Brittany continued, walking behind Sam to where Mike and Matt stood, in disguises, holding up lights and different equipment. Puck looked around uneasily before nodding at "Robert".

"Okay, Puck, the trick is just relax and behave naturally, yeah?" Sam began, talking with a French accent. Sam smiled at Brittany before beginning to snap photos of Puck, yelling out different directions.

"Now pout for me, Puck! Pout! More pouting, yeah!" Sam yelled out, snapping photo after photo of Puck pouting. Mike and Matt held in their laughter as Brittany smiled reassuringly at Puck.

"Oh, yeah, I love you, I love you. Now make me hate you! Hate me! Yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, you hate me! Oh, you hate me, Puck!" Sam yelled, Puck looking angrily into the camera with a sneer.

"Nice, nice, nice! Now you're a tree. It's windy. Shake your branches! Big storm, Puck. It's good. Big storm, bigger. Bigger, bigger," Sam yelled out again, Puck waving his arms above his head with a smile.

"Now hate me, Puck. Hate me. Oh, you hate me, Puck!" Sam finished, snapping a few more pictures of Puck before putting the equipment away.

"Great job, Puck," Sam said in his French accent, helping Mike and Matt carry the equipment back to their car as Brittany smiled at him. She gave him a kiss on the cheek before skipping away, waving at him as she went.

-NPMD-

Puck walked into the movie theater holding hands with Sugar, holding a bucket of popcorn in the other while she carried the soda. They sat down together as the ads before the movie started playing.

"It is so amazing that you're into sculpture. I mean, what are human beings here for if not to, you know make horses and stuff out of clay?" Puck said, smiling at Sugar.

"Really? I'm so glad you feel that way," Sugar said, taking a sip from the soda.

"Totally," Puck replied, placing his arm around her shoulders as his face appeared on the screen.

"Hey, isn't that you?" Sugar asked, pointing to the screen that showed Puck pointing, the caption reading _JUST ANOTHER CUTE FACE?_ in front of a reddish orange background.

"I do some part-time male modeling," Puck replied, shrugging slightly.

"Really?" Sugar asked, her voice showing how impressed she was.

"Yeah."

"I didn't know that."

"Can I have a sip?" Puck asked, pointing to her drink. Sugar happily nodded, moving it towards him and then taking a sip of her own.

"Yeah," she answered. The screen now showed Puck looking surprised into the camera, the caption reading _OR THE FACE OF GENITAL HERPES?_

"I know that guy!" some random guy yelled out, pointing towards the screen, as the rest of the audience groaned in unison.

"Um…" Sugar trailed off, moving slightly away from Puck.

"What? No, I-I don't have that," Puck hastily answered, the screen now showing Puck smiling with his arms up, the caption saying _THERE'S NOTHING CUTE ABOUT: HERPES. I KNOW- I HAVE IT_. Sugar pulled the straw from her lips with a gasp, throwing it to the ground and standing up as the audience began laughing and groaning.

"Sugar, I-I-I don't have that!" Puck exclaimed, watching as Sugar walked over him to go into the aisle.

"God, ooh. Don't touch me! Don't touch me! Don't touch me," Sugar shrilled, throwing her arms up as Puck attempted to grab her.

"Sugar, wait! Sugar!" Puck cried out, standing from his seat, his popcorn falling onto the ground. Rachel, Quinn, Santana, Brittany, Sam, Kurt, Matt, and Mike sat high up in the theater, watching Puck and laughing.

"That's him!" a random girl yelled out, pointing to Puck.

"What? No, that's not real. I only model as a guy with herpes," Puck lamely said, watching as the teenagers around him laughed and pointed. Santana took some popcorn from her bucket and threw it down onto Puck, prompting everyone else in the theater to throw their food at him. Puck ducked his head down and covered it with his hand as he walked up the aisle to the door, being showered in popcorn as everyone continued laughing.

"Going to the free clinic, Tuck?" another person joked, Santana and the other girls giggling as the guys laughed.

-NPMD-

_Rule 1 in warfare: never underestimate your opponent. _

In the auditorium, it showed a few teens sitting on chairs, a podium set up with Principal Figgins behind it. A large sign saying _Teen Responsibility Awards _was on the curtain on the stage, three pictures of Puck around it. Puck walked up to the podium and accepted the plague Principal Figgins gave him with a smile.

"Oh, I love you, Puck!" a girl from the audience screamed out.

"I don't personally suffer from an STD, but one in five young adults do. And I am proud to give my voice to the silent," Puck said, looking behind him to glance at the different teens with herpes on their faces. The crowd jumped up to applaud him, Puck grinning at them.

"That's right, baby!" he yelled, walking over to the teens and giving the one girl a hug. She kissed him on the cheek, murmuring a "Thanks!" as he walked away.

-NPMD-

Rachel, Quinn, Santana, and Brittany were in Rachel's kitchen, Rachel grabbing a few sodas from her fridge and placing them on the bar where Quinn and Brittany were sitting, Santana at the table in the room.

"Okay, it should've worked. I mean, are we missing something?" Rachel asked, handing the sodas to the two blondes as Quinn typed away at her laptop and Brittany doodled a picture of a unicorn.

"I am. My social life," Santana retorted, taking a pill container from her bag and checking her cell phone.

"Hey!" Shelby greeted, walking into the room carrying grocery bags. Rachel grabbed them from her and placed them on the counter.

"Hey, Ms. Corcoran," Brittany greeted, a sweet smile on her lips.

"'Shelby', please. So, what are you girls up to?" Shelby asked, putting her purse down.

"Destroying a man," Quinn continued, a smirk on her lips.

"Ooh, who do I make my check out to?" Shelby joked, beginning to unload the groceries.

"He's totally indestructible. We give him herpes, they give him an award," Santana replied, rolling her eyes as she grabbed a soda from the counter. Quinn moved her laptop to show Shelby the fake ad they created with the help from the boys. Shelby looked over to Rachel, a confused expression on her face.

"Fake herpes, Mom, N…It was a whole reputation thing. It's a long story," Rachel began to explain, sputtering slightly. Shelby looked over to the other girls scratching her head lightly.

"Sure. Yeah, the old 'fake herpes, reputation' thing," Shelby joked, looking at the four teenage girls with a concerned expression.

"You know, um. I can unpack the groceries if you've got stuff," Rachel said, hoping to get her mom to leave. Shelby noticed this and smiled at her daughter.

"I get it, all right. Play nice, girls," Shelby grinned, grabbing the can in front of Rachel and drinking it as she left the room.

"Okay, your mom is so hot!" Brittany perkily said once Shelby was gone. Santana scoffed at Rachel.

"Yeah. What happened to you, Hobbit?" Santana joked, Rachel glaring at her and choosing to ignore her.

"She does Zumba with me," Rachel explained with a shrug, beginning to unpack the groceries before looking over at Quinn. "Quinn, what are you always typing on there?"

"Oh, lists, normal stuff, same as everyone. I have my 'To Do' list, my 'Goals' list, my 'Prom' list, my 'Campaign Ideas' list, my 'People I Need to Convince to Vote for Me' list. Normal stuff," the cheerleader explained, smiling.

"Right. Normal," Santana scoffed.

"Totally," Brittany agreed, seeming completely serious.

"Well, at least I'm not medicated," Quinn shot, looking pointedly at the Latina.

"Excuse me, this is an all-natural beauty supplement," Santana replied, taking a pill from the bottle.

"What are you taking? Estrogen? Santana! They torture innocent horses for this. It's made from their pee," Rachel exclaimed, taking the bottle from Santana.

"Peeing isn't torture, menopause is. I steal it from my mom. Guys take steroids to get pecs, I just wanna go up a cup size," Santana explained, glancing down at her breasts.

"I don't think it works like that. It stops your natural hormone production," Rachel continued.

"Yeah, and when you run out you're gonna grow a mustache and a penis," Quinn said, a serious expression on her face.

"Are you serious?" Santana yelled, throwing the pill to the ground.

"Okay, you guys, we've gotta get back to Puck," Quinn announced, turning back to her laptop.

"Okay, what we need is one major hit that's gonna crush his whole macho thing, you know?" Brittany suggested, looking back down at her drawing of Lord Tubbington and a unicorn flying on a rainbow.

"We need him to understand what it feels like to be us," Quinn added pointedly.

"Right. And what's more terrifying to a man than not being manly?" Rachel asked with a smirk, holding up the estrogen bottle. The teen girls smirked before they started giggling, high-fiving each other.

-NPMD-

On the football field the next day, Coach Beiste watched as the Titan football team practiced plays, screaming from the sidelines.

"I wanna see you three holding the defense back and an open shot to the end zone," she yelled, the football players nodding as they did as she asked. Quinn walked onto the field to go to Cheerios practice, stopping at the drinks table and sneakily grabbing the estrogen bottle from her bag. As the guys continued playing, Quinn dumped the crushed up pills into Puck's protein shake mix, trying to do it as quickly as she could to not draw attention.

"Two hands, Adams. You, too, Karofsky. All right, keep it going now! All right, here we go. Hudson, you, too. Come on, pick it up. Better, Puckerman," the coach yelled as they continued to do play after play.

"Take a drink, you guys," Beiste said in the middle of practice, talking to Artie, a player of the team and assistant coach about different plays as the guys moved to the bleachers. Puck walked over to the drinks station, Quinn sighing in relief that he came over just as she had finished. She hid the sigh with a smile, grabbing some water from the table.

"What's up, babe?" Puck said, grabbing his water bottle and his protein mix from his bag.

"Hey," Quinn smiled, taking a sip from her drink.

"How you doing?" he asked, looking over at her.

"Good. Um, are you trying to bulk up?" Quinn asked, an innocent smile on her face.

"Yeah, Coach Beiste has me drinking 'em twice a day," Puck smirked, showing his muscles before opening his water bottle and protein mix.

"Oh...not working. I mean, the slim look works for some guys, but you're definitely losing tone," Quinn replied, patting his arm lightly, Puck looking up from preparing his drink with a confused expression.

"I'm losing tone?" Puck asked in disbelief, glancing at his muscles.

"Yeah. Maybe you should double up doses," Quinn suggested, a smile still gracing her lips.

"Yeah, yeah. Thanks for the heads-up, babe," Puck replied. Quinn blew him a kiss as she walked away, watching as Puck added cup after cup of the mixture to his water bottle, shaking it quickly before taking a large sip of it. Quinn smirked as she continued walking to practice, shaking her head slightly.

-NPMD-

Meanwhile, Rachel was sitting in Spanish before class started, watching as her classmates came into the room and looking at the empty seat next to her seat sadly. Rachel looked down at her textbook, sighing sadly in her mind as she noticed that the next assignment was partner work.

"Hey," a voice said behind her. Rachel turned around to see Blaine, surprise in her features.

"Oh. Hey," Rachel said, blushing slightly.

"Hey, can I ask you a favor? Uh, I'm-I'm in need of a partner. I was with Wes, but Mr. Shuester says we can't work together," Blaine explained sheepishly.

"Oh. Well, before I say yes, why won't Mr. Shuester let you sit together?" Rachel asked.

"Uh, well, that is open to interpretation because he will say that it was my fault, but I clearly said, 'Dude, don't copy everything word for word from me, he'll know that we copied and fail us'," Blaine answered, Rachel giggling slightly.

"A clear warning," Rachel joked, before motioning him to sit down.

"Yeah," Blaine sheepishly answered, sitting down next to Rachel with a smile.

"All right, well you can start by _preguntarme una pregunta en español_," Rachel said, giggling again at Blaine's confused expression.

"Ask me a question in Spanish," Rachel said with an eye roll, grinning at him. Blaine nodded before looking at the textbook, trying to sound out different words on the page. As he said them incorrect, Rachel leaned closer to him and helped him pronounce them correctly. Their hands were barely grazing as they looked up to see each other's gazes. They continued to look as Blaine's pen slipped and drew a line down his arm.

"Oh!" they both exclaimed simultaneously.

"Oh, my gosh! Is this going to poison me? Am I gonna die?" Blaine yelled, jumping up and holding his arm.

"It hurts! It hurts!" he continued to yell, grabbing the attention of the other students in the room.

"It's just ink. You're fine," Rachel giggled, Blaine stopping and sitting down sheepishly.

"Oh. Well, okay. Then I'm not going to die, it just looks like I drew on myself," Blaine said, grabbing the pen and drawing a line on Rachel's arm.

"Hey!" Rachel giggled, grabbing her pen and drawing on his arm.

"Hey, all right, all right. This is just silly!" Blaine laughed as they continued to draw on each other's arms, leaving random lines on their arms.

"Hey! Cool it," Mr. Shuester said as he walked into the room, giving a pointed look to Rachel and Blaine. They both nodded as they put their pens down, looking back down at the textbook.

"Yeah, Rachel. Geez, cool it," Blaine joked, shooting Rachel a grin. After a few minutes, Will came back over to the pair, giving Blaine a smile before standing in front of Rachel.

"Hi, Rachel. How's your mom?" the teacher said nonchalantly, looking at their work before looking up at Rachel. Rachel scoffed slightly before glaring slightly at the teacher.

"Why don't you ask her tonight? If you dump her soon then I will be very angry because I don't want to have to move _again_," Rachel sneered before rolling her eyes. Will swallowed noisily as he glanced around him.

"Rachel, I genuinely like your mother. I just want to get to know her," Will replied, causing Rachel to scoff again.

"Yeah, that's what Skip said too," Rachel retorted, looking back down at her work. Will looked at Rachel for a moment before walking away.

-NPMD-

**A.N. I'm super sorry for not writing another chapter sooner. I was busy writing my other story "Falling Slowly" and "If This Is It" and I sorta lost inspiration for this story. But a few reviews were like a wakeup call for me to buck up and start writing again. I get all of my dialogue from the actual movie "John Tucker Must Die"; I get it from a website that has all of the dialogue but I change it to fit my needs, adding things and taking out others. Parts of this story I created to just integrate more glee into it, but I try to stick mostly to the storyline of the movie, but there will be definite changes. Please read and review, and thank you for waiting this chapter. I'm going to try to update a few more chapters of this and then I'll try to create a schedule to update both this and my other story "If This Is It" on a semi-regular basis. **

**-FinnHudsonismine5 **


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The next day, everyone was excited for the big game against Carmel. McKinley and Carmel were enemies in every sense of the word; the athletic teams often competed against one another as did the glee club. While the McKinley New Directions only had five members and were constantly made fun of, the Carmel Vocal Adrenaline was seen as gods. The McKinley Titans always beat Carmel though, which was why the whole school was excited to win against their rivals again.

Everyone in Lima were currently sitting in the bleachers while McKinley played against Carmel, Puck standing next to his best friend Finn, the quarterback, fist-pumping as they both got into position, the other football players following. Finn called hut and snapped the ball back, throwing it to Puck who easily caught it and ran it into the end zone. The crowd erupted in applause, a few girls screaming Puck's name audible from his spot on the field. He winked at the crowd before running back to his teammates, getting ready for the next play.

Although Puck was a lineman and an offensive player, he stayed on the field during the whole game since he ran so fast and easily made the other team fumble. He was standing in line as he stared at the defensive man in front of him, holding him back when the call was played. Puck started grunting, moving a hand off the player's shoulders to his chest as the defensive man continued to push him.

"Lay off. That's sensitive," Puck said, holding his chest carefully. The player scoffed as another down was added, setting up for the next play. As the quarterback for Carmel called the play, Puck and the player pushed against each other again.

"I'm sorry, princess. Did you chip a nail? Really, how many times do I have to flush before you go away?" the player said, pushing Puck roughly as Puck stood up straight and moved to stand chest to chest with the player.

"Play clean," Puck said as another down was added. As the players from both sides moved to go into position, Puck and the defensive man stayed by each other.

"Hey, if I wanted to listen to an asshole, I would've farted," the defensive man said. A look of anger crossed Puck's face as he stepped towards him.

"That's an awful thing to say," Puck said, pushing the player roughly before the play was called. The referees blew their whistles and threw down a flag, pointing to Puck.

"We got a technical foul: 20 with a push," a referee said. Puck walked towards the ref, still looking angry. As this happened, Rachel looked over to where Brittany sat in the stands, mouthing, "Did you see that?" as Brittany just smiled. Quinn stood on the sidelines with her pompoms, looking to where Santana sat near her, a smirk on both girls' faces.

"He started it. He's bein' mean," Puck explained, a shock look crossing his face as he ran to the sidelines as the team went to move to offensive. Puck rummaged through the multiple bags at the bleacher, pulling a candy bar out of one and ripping it open. As he bit into it, Azimio walked over and looked at Puck angrily.

"Dude, that's mine! I got low blood sugar!" Azimio said, pointing to the chocolate bar.

"I need it. Do my thighs look fat in these pants?" Puck asked, motioning to the football pants he had on as Azimio looked at him strangely. As Puck noticed the offensive guys moving towards the field, he threw down the chocolate bar and ran onto the field. The fans began cheering loudly, clapping their hands in unison.

"Come on, Puck!" Karofsky yelled, hitting Puck's helmet to get his attention.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" Puck asked, glaring at Dave slightly.

"It's open. You have the ball so run," Dave snarled, pushing Puck.

"Fine!" Puck yelled, running with the ball and instantly getting tackled. A member from Carmel caught the fumble, the teams returning to position.

"You see? Now look what you made me do," Puck angrily yelled, pushing Karofsky slightly.

"Time, ref. Puck, you okay?" Coach Beiste asked as the team huddled, looking over at Puck.

"Yeah. Why? Don't I look okay? 'Cause I feel okay, I feel fine. I'm great. What are you saying?" Puck quickly rambled, the team and Beiste looking at him in confusion.

"I'm saying focus. We got one minute left on the clock to finish this game," Beiste answered, looking around the huddle at the other members before settling on Puck.

"I'm in it," Puck said, nodding his head. The team put their hands in the middle, yelling Titans, before running back onto the field. The play was called, Finn throwing Puck the ball as he ran down the field. As he began to do his trademark move, using the other player to jump over them, Puck didn't push himself hard enough so his crotch hit the other player in the face. Puck stayed in the air for a moment before falling back to the ground, landing on his back and coughing.

"Puckerman. Puckerman, are you okay? Can you finish the game?" Beiste asked, kneeling besides him as the medics began to walk onto the field.

"No. I-I-I'm anxious and bloated and my nipples hurt," Puck tearfully replied, his voice breaking slightly.

"Don't be a pansy-ass! We need you. Get up. Let's go," Beiste said, motioning for the medics to leave the field as Puck stood up. The crowd grew silent as the school's TV station focused the camera on Puck as he threw his helmet off.

"No! I won't! I mean, i-i-it's always me, 'W-W-We need you, Puck. Let's go, Puck. Puck-Puck-Puck!' You're always yelling at me but you never listen to me. What about my feelings?" Puck screamed, tears beginning to fall down his face as everyone looked at him in shock. As Puck looked at the shocked faces around him, he covered his face with his hands, running to the locker room as everyone stared after him.

_It was a kill-strike. _

"Leave me alone!" Puck yelled as he left the stadium, the crowd beginning to murmur and laugh around him.

_And it landed with shock and awe. _

-NPMD-

_Thanks to us, girls would no longer be under the reign of Noah Puckerman's charm. He had finally fallen from grace and we were on top of the world. _

The next day, Puck walked into the hallway, grabbing his backpack on his shoulder as a girl passed by him.

"Yo, what's up, guys?" Puck greeted, putting his hand up for a high five to some of the football players on the team. They ignored him, turning around back to face their lockers. Rachel, Santana, Quinn, and Brittany shared looks from where they stood with their other friends, smiling at each other.

"Finn," Puck said as he walked over to where Finn stood at his locker, wearing his letterman jacket. Finn closed his locker as he looked at his best friend, shaking his head slightly.

"Mm-mm. Mm-mm," Finn said, placing a hand on Puck's shoulder before walking away, laughing to himself slightly. The four girls continued to watch Puck, smiling to themselves as everyone continued to ignore him. Puck was at his own locker when Mercedes, the resident diva of McKinley, walked up to him.

"What you did on the field last night was the most courageous thing I've ever seen any man do. This is my peer-counseling hotline," Mercedes said, handing a card to him.

"Give it a call anytime you want to talk. I stay up late," Mercedes whispered into his ear, smiling before walking away. Finn came back over to Puck, lifting his eyebrow as Mercedes strut away. Then a few minutes later, Lauren, the only female wrestler on the wrestling team, came over.

"A real man knows how to feel. I want to feel a real man," she said, Puck grinning down at her as she gave him her number before walking away. Later on that day, Puck and Finn were in the locker room, lifting weights as they talked. They noticed Suzy Pepper walk towards them, confused since only guys were allowed in the locker room. Finn watched with a confused expression as Suzy walked over to Puck.

"If you ever need a shoulder or a hug or, you know, anything," Suzy trailed off, placing a hand on Puck's chest and moving it down to his crotch. She grabbed as Puck gasped in surprise, groaning when she grabbed it tighter.

"I'm here," she grinned before walking away, waving to them.

-NPMD-

_Rule 2 in warfare: never, ever, underestimate your opponent*_

"Hey, sweetie. Can we talk? Look, I know I wigged out last night. My peer counselor says I need to look into my emotional responsibility," Puck said as he stood in front of Santana, who was smiling at him.

"So, I've been doing some 'me' work, and, uh, it's really been clearing things up," Puck continued, looking at Brittany who nodded at him.

"Hmm," she replied, smiling slightly.

"And, well, you know there's only one girl for me. But, I don't think that girl is you," Puck said to Quinn, whose face dropped as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"I mean, we had a fun run," he said as Santana looked up, her mouth open in shock and surprise.

"You know? I'm just ready to find something deeper, more complex," he continued, watching as Brittany looked at him with her eyes wide.

"So, we good?" he finished, smiling. Quinn immediately slapped him, as did Santana and Brittany when he talked to them. Each girl slapped him again during their conversation, Santana adding another slap to his cheek before flipping her hair and walking away.

-NPMD-

"Well, he dumped me," Brittany announced as she entered Rachel's bedroom. Rachel looked up from her stereo where she putting the cast recording of "Cabaret" on, putting the track to "Maybe This Time".

"That shallow bastard thinks I'm not complex?" Quinn roared as she walked into Rachel's room after Brittany, throwing her tote bag on the floor before pulling her short hair out of its ponytail. She ran her hand through her hair that she recently cut, her blonde locks ending before her shoulders.

"You, like, invented complex," Santana agreed, walking in and slamming the door behind her.

"How do you guys always get in here? My mom's not even home right now," Rachel asked curiously, wondering in her head if she locked the door after coming home. Santana held out a key, throwing it at Rachel.

"You leave your key under the mat. Seriously? That's where everyone looks, dwarf," Santana explained.

"I'm so depressed, I couldn't even enjoy the break-up sex," Brittany said as she laid on the bed, leaning up against the wall and bringing her knees to her chest. The other three girls shot her looks as realization crossed the blonde's face.

"Oh, my God, I'm such a slut!" Brittany sadly said before throwing her head back, forgetting about the wall and letting out a loud 'Ow!' as she rubbed the spot carefully. The four girls began laughing as Quinn fell into the chair in Rachel's room while Rachel and Santana fell into the two ottomans on either side of Quinn. After laughing the three newly single girls began tearing up, Rachel instantly running downstairs and grabbing all the comfort foods in her house. After filling up a tray of popcorn, chocolate syrup, peanut butter, and other chocolate candies, making sure to grab four bottles of Diet Coke, Rachel ran back upstairs to see the three girls on her bed, sighing to themselves.

When Rachel set the tray down on her bed, the three of them instantly grabbed items from it, stuffing their mouths with chocolate. Rachel sat down against her pillows, Brittany besides her. Santana laid herself on the bed next to where Rachel sat and Quinn laid down at the foot of the bed, her head on Santana's legs.

"I can't believe I ate meat for him. I mean, it was fish. Still, I don't eat anything with a face," Brittany said, putting chocolate syrup on piece of bread covered in peanut butter. Quinn grabbed a chocolate ball and dipped it in chocolate frosting, handing it towards Brittany.

"Mm, try this. It's really good. Chocolate on chocolate," she said, sticking her finger back in the frosting.

"Oh, yeah," Brittany smiled as Rachel and Santana laughed at her.

"Chocolate is the Puck of all snack food," Quinn said, sticking her frosting covered finger in her mouth.

"What, it's gotta get with every candy on the shelf?" Santana scoffed, putting a piece of popcorn in her mouth.

"No, no, no, chocolate makes everything better. My mom says that it can even mend your broken heart," Rachel explained, eating some of the popcorn.

"You know, I was thinking. Instead of doing all this, we should've just broken his heart," Santana said, leaning up while holding a strawberry, taking a bite of it.

"What?" Brittany asked around a mouthful of peanut butter. Quinn shot up from her place on the bed, giving an intense look to Santana.

"San, that's pretty genius," she said.

"Yeah, except he broke up with everybody," Rachel said with a slight laugh. Quinn licked her finger as she sat up, sharing a look with Brittany.

"Not...everybody," Quinn trailed off. Rachel's eyes immediately widened as she looked from girl to girl.

"What? I…No," Rachel said definitively, shaking her head.

"Mm-hmm," Brittany nodded.

"I can't do that. I don't even like him," Rachel scoffed, crossing her arms across her chest.

"So?" Brittany and Quinn let out at the same time.

"You're not really gonna be dating him. You'll be pretending," Quinn explained with a wave of her hand.

"Exactly," Brittany excitedly said from besides her.

"Look, I know what you're thinking. 'I'm not as hot as Auntie Tana'," Santana began, motioning to herself.

"'I'm not that smart or popular," Santana continued, motioning to Quinn who smiled proudly. Santana looked at Brittany before smiling.

"'I'm not as blonde or…experienced'," Santana ended. Brittany smiled before looking at Santana in shock as Quinn laughed besides her.

"That's true," Rachel whispered to herself.

"But you have us. And we can make you into anything. If we combine all of us, we can make him fall in love with you-I mean really fall in love- and then we'll yank it all out from under him," Quinn said, smiling largely at Rachel.

"This is gonna be so good!" Brittany clapped.

"No, it's just not gonna work, I..." Rachel trailed off before being interrupted by Santana.

"Berry, look. I know you think I'm just a vicious skank, but I do have feelings and they got crushed because of your idea. I used all my mom's estrogen pills and now she looks like Bernie Mac," Santana said, Quinn hiding her laughter behind her hand.

"Sorry," she whispered with a shrug. Santana sent her a glare before looking back at Rachel.

"You guys, I..." Rachel trailed off again, looking down at her hands.

"You know what? Forget it. You couldn't pull it off anyway," Santana said, flipping her hair as she got off the bed. Quinn and Brittany grabbed their snacks as they got off the bed.

"Let's go," Santana said, moving to the door.

"Oh, well," Quinn sighed as she reached Santana.

"All right," Brittany sighed as she opened the door. Just as they opened the door, Rachel looked up.

"Wait," Rachel called out, looking at the three girls' hopeful faces as they turned around.

"Just tell me what to do," Rachel reluctantly said.

"Yes!" the three girls yelled out at once, running to the bed.

"Now, the first step is so easy. There's one thing Puck cannot resist," Quinn began. As Santana, Brittany, and Quinn began discussing their plan, Rachel couldn't help but sigh to herself. She really did not want to do this, but she didn't want to lose the first girl friends that she's ever had. Sure she had Sam, Mike, and Matt, but she wasn't really close with them. And she had Kurt, who was her only Broadway confidant; plus there was Blaine but she didn't know him enough to be friends.

What Rachel didn't tell the girls that she thought that Puck was really cute; she was ironically turned on by his bad boy image and she thought his arms were lovely. Although he had slushied her once when she started school, she didn't actually want to hurt him. But Rachel knew that if she wanted to stay friends with these girls, she was going to have to break his heart.

-NPMD-

*These conversations with Puck happen at different times, but he says the same exact thing to each of them. This just shows theirs different reactions to what he tells them. The movie shows it better since it's sorta hard to describe in words.

P.S. Sorry for the wait! I know I've been super slow but I'll try to start on more chapters before school starts.


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